PARENT TIP #1 - Aim for a balanced approach

During times of stress and uncertainty, it's easy for adults to get stressed, and to show this through their words and actions.  Not surprisingly, children pick up on this, and get stressed themselves.  Teachers see this at school when students act out for no apparent reason, or lose their enthusiasm for things they usually enjoy. Parents see this at home when their child seems "out of sorts", not feeling or acting like they usually do.

It's important to keep communication open with children.  It's important to aim for balance that is appropriate for their age and level of understanding. 

Young children need to know that they are safe and that you will take care of them. They will ask questions at their level of understanding. It's best to keep your answers simple and direct, and to reassure them that there are lots of people in the community working to solve the problems.

Fred Rogers, (aka Mr. Rogers), said, When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.”
If your child sees or hears things on the news that worry them, start with this. Let them know they are safe, and that there are helpers in your community. Then it's time to distract them by moving on to something else that interests them.

Older children will have more questions and concerns, and will often push for more answers, looking for immediate solutions.  Again, try to answer all of their concerns calmly, balancing their desire for information with their level of understanding.  Above all, they need to know that you will do your best to keep them safe, and that things will return to normal after the crisis has passed.

Teenagers are in the awkward years where sometimes they feel like they should have as much say as adults, yet sometimes they feel or behave like a child.  It's important to listen to their feelings without judgement when they vent, and just as important to talk calmly about issues when their emotions subside.  (It's not productive to try to talk when either of you are feeling big emotions.)  Depending on their own level of maturity and comfort, some possible ways to develop understanding and social involvement include:

• researching tragedies and disasters that have happened in the past hundred years.  (Eg. the Hindenburg, the Titanic, the great San Francisco earthquake, World Wars, the polio epidemic, the influenza epidemic of 1918, etc.)
• What happened? How many people were affected? How far did the consequences reach? What were the negative results? What good things developed as a result of what people learned?
• read picture books or novels that are set during these times.  How realistic is the writing? Does it really tell the whole story, or does it give a good understanding of what happened?
• Most of all, look for the helpers during the crisis, and the people who developed new and better ways to keep people safe afterwards.  Who were the real-life heroes?

★ Children and teenagers like to help if they feel that they are genuinely making a positive difference.  Guide the conversation to how other people are having challenges right now too.  Ask your child what you could do together to help others.  This could include ideas such as:

• making video calls or phone calls each day to family and friends
• writing a letter or making a card to send to someone they care about
• making cheerful cards to send to the local senior citizens
• sorting out old toys that aren't played with any more, disinfecting them, and donating them